The Elephant Trunkfish
Guardian: Pete Morrison
If you were invited to eat with the sea cucumbers you would lick your feet or if you had a runny nose, rub snot on the soles of your feet and dip it on to your plate and then lick off whatever sticks to your foot. It would be best to use both feet and your arms as well so you fit in because most sea cucumbers feed with at least half a dozen feet.
You would be eating sand but if it was a fancy meal it would be rich with dead and decaying animal and vegetable matter, bacteria and poo from a variety of species (including your own).
I am not sure what you would talk about but large Helmet Shells would be looked down upon (because they eat Sea cucumbers) and they would probably hold a great deal of pride in their role of dissolving coral sand so that the Calcium within it is available for corals. The Conversation might go like this, “Sea Cucumbers don’t get enough respect, if we didn’t eat sand and dissolve it so that corals can drink the Calcium the reef would not exist, no-one seems to care about us, we didn’t get a mention in Finding Nemo, we are always in the back of the guide book and everyone loves Turtles so much (true, they have really tasty poo, but what do they do to keep the reef alive)”.